I have reached the point that virtually every personal blog reaches sooner rather than later: Having no more time to update it and/or no desire to do so. I've also got a very busy next few months between trying to change jobs and going back to school, so I'll be going on an indefinite hiatus. Enjoy
the archives. See you when I see you!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Worst Colleges in America
America has almost as many colleges as it has lawyers and
autistic kids. It's often hard to sort through the extremely numerous
higher education options out there in order to pick the one that will
get you a degree that will actually get you a job (not a good job,
this is 2011...ANY job will do). The excellent Washington
Monthly has done its part to help out the educationally
discriminating by compiling a list of the "50 Worst Colleges in
America". Here's numbers 6 to 10:
6. Baker College of Auburn Hills (MI)
7. University of the District of Columbia
8. East-West University (IL)
9. Haskell Indian Nations University (KS)
10. Crichton College (TN)
More here.
autistic kids. It's often hard to sort through the extremely numerous
higher education options out there in order to pick the one that will
get you a degree that will actually get you a job (not a good job,
this is 2011...ANY job will do). The excellent Washington
Monthly has done its part to help out the educationally
discriminating by compiling a list of the "50 Worst Colleges in
America". Here's numbers 6 to 10:
6. Baker College of Auburn Hills (MI)
7. University of the District of Columbia
8. East-West University (IL)
9. Haskell Indian Nations University (KS)
10. Crichton College (TN)
More here.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Navigation note
I have recently let the domain name "worstofeverything.com" expire,
as it was just not bringing enough traffic in. I get plenty of views,
they just come directly mostly from Google/Bing searches. Please
use worstofeverything.blogspot.com to reach us from here on in.
But I guess if you're reading this, you probably already know that.
Anyway, new posts coming soon or something.
as it was just not bringing enough traffic in. I get plenty of views,
they just come directly mostly from Google/Bing searches. Please
use worstofeverything.blogspot.com to reach us from here on in.
But I guess if you're reading this, you probably already know that.
Anyway, new posts coming soon or something.
Monday, May 16, 2011
More Movie Reviews
Here's some more movies I've seen recently, either on
DVD or at the theater. Some I liked, some I didn't.
First up...
Blue Valentine (2010)
The Weinstein Company
Starring Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling
I'm really not a fan of sad movies (if I want to be sad,
there's always everyday life to provide that), but there
are a few that I really like, and this is one of them. In
this small-budget film, Gosling and Williams (who earned
an Academy Award nomination for Best Actress here)
play a mismatched couple who marry too young, and maybe
without having gotten to know each other well enough.
Blue Valentine alternates between flashbacks of their
fun, quirky courtship and the grim and joyless present,
in which Williams works as a nurse (and is obviously
the main breadwinner) and Gosling paints houses, and
drinks a lot. A fascinating look into the slow collapse
of a marriage, replete with all the regret of looking back
and not being able to turn back the clock. This movie
wasn't perfect, though. It felt like it was missing something
toward the end. I've heard Blue Valentine was pretty
heavily edited before release--most likely due to the
graphic nudity and sex--but it almost feels like that wasn't
all that was cut out. Regardless, excellent performances
make this one of the best dramas of the year.
Rating: * * * * out of 5 stars.
Scott Pilgrim vs The World (2010)
Universal Studios
Starring Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth
Winstead
It would only be fair to mention that I was only able
to sit through this hot mess of a movie for little
over an hour before I decided to quit while I was
ahead. Scott Pilgrim vs The World is supposedly
based on a comic book series, which I have not
read. The protagonist is Michael Cera, playing the
same goddamn character he always plays: soft-
voiced, timid, feminized wall-flower. Scott Pilgrim
is the unlikely bassist for some some shitty rock
band. He then falls in love with some pink-haired
chick, Ramona Flowers (Winstead) but then has
to tangle with Ramona's "seven evil exes", a collection
of weirdos who appear to have superpowers. So
does Pilgrim, it appears, as his battles against the
exes have him fighting like a video game/comic
book character (with "sound effects" appearing
on the screen as words, video game references and
sound effects galore, fancy aerial moves, etc.).
Whatever alternate reality the characters inhabit
seems incredibly retarded, ugly and awkward.
Maybe it's just because the film is set in Canada.
The characters were all ridiculous and the storytelling
was manic and irritating. I know director Edgar Wright
can do much better (Shaun of The Dead and Hot Fuzz,
for example), but this just failed to hold my interest. I
dunno, maybe I'm too old. This movie was obviously
made with dorky teenagers in mind.
Not surprisingly, it bombed at the box office.
Rating: * out of 5 stars.
More like Scott Pilgrim vs The Audience.
The Limits of Control (2009)
Focus Features
Starring Isaach De Bankolé, Bill Murray
This is a gorgeous-looking film, that often seems to forget
that the audience expects to be told a story. Isaach de
Bankole plays what I presumed to be some kind of hitman,
who spends a lot of time waiting to be handed instructions
on his next job by a series of strange...well, strangers. The
Limits of Control seems to take place almost exclusively
in various parts of Spain. The scenery is incredibly beautiful,
and the cinematography makes it come alive flawlessly.
But the film is ultimately too dull, too drawn out and too
mysterious to really hold an audience's interest. Don't get
too excited about Bill Murray, though. He's only in about
5 minutes near the end. Paz de la Huerta does full-frontal
nudity here (not that that's an infrequent occurence for her),
so it's not a total loss.
There, you don't have to see it now.
Rating: * * out of 5 stars.
Piranha 3-D (2010)
The Weinstein Company
Starring Jerry O'Connell, Elisabeth Shue
This is supposed to be a remake of the original 1978
camp classic, except that there's almost certainly a lot
more graphic gore, tits & ass and shitty jokes in this
updated version. I don't gross out easily, but this movie
was gory as hell, especially in 3D. I found myself not
finding the gore either funny or scary, just disgusting. The
tits were okay...but I think an actual story could've been
told here as well, alongside all of that. Almost all the
characters were bland and basically unlikeable. Richard
Dreyfus makes a completely pointless cameo near the
beginning. However, a later--albeit too brief-- appearance
by the always great Christopher Lloyd almost turned the movie
around for me. The plot? Oh...some guy who makes Girls
Gone Wild-type videos (O'Connell) comes to a beach town to
film, some tennager and his love interest tag along with him, then
piranhas attack. Not much else to it. And tits.
Rating: * out of 5 stars.
DVD or at the theater. Some I liked, some I didn't.
First up...
Blue Valentine (2010)
The Weinstein Company
Starring Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling
I'm really not a fan of sad movies (if I want to be sad,
there's always everyday life to provide that), but there
are a few that I really like, and this is one of them. In
this small-budget film, Gosling and Williams (who earned
an Academy Award nomination for Best Actress here)
play a mismatched couple who marry too young, and maybe
without having gotten to know each other well enough.
Blue Valentine alternates between flashbacks of their
fun, quirky courtship and the grim and joyless present,
in which Williams works as a nurse (and is obviously
the main breadwinner) and Gosling paints houses, and
drinks a lot. A fascinating look into the slow collapse
of a marriage, replete with all the regret of looking back
and not being able to turn back the clock. This movie
wasn't perfect, though. It felt like it was missing something
toward the end. I've heard Blue Valentine was pretty
heavily edited before release--most likely due to the
graphic nudity and sex--but it almost feels like that wasn't
all that was cut out. Regardless, excellent performances
make this one of the best dramas of the year.
Rating: * * * * out of 5 stars.
Scott Pilgrim vs The World (2010)
Universal Studios
Starring Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth
Winstead
It would only be fair to mention that I was only able
to sit through this hot mess of a movie for little
over an hour before I decided to quit while I was
ahead. Scott Pilgrim vs The World is supposedly
based on a comic book series, which I have not
read. The protagonist is Michael Cera, playing the
same goddamn character he always plays: soft-
voiced, timid, feminized wall-flower. Scott Pilgrim
is the unlikely bassist for some some shitty rock
band. He then falls in love with some pink-haired
chick, Ramona Flowers (Winstead) but then has
to tangle with Ramona's "seven evil exes", a collection
of weirdos who appear to have superpowers. So
does Pilgrim, it appears, as his battles against the
exes have him fighting like a video game/comic
book character (with "sound effects" appearing
on the screen as words, video game references and
sound effects galore, fancy aerial moves, etc.).
Whatever alternate reality the characters inhabit
seems incredibly retarded, ugly and awkward.
Maybe it's just because the film is set in Canada.
The characters were all ridiculous and the storytelling
was manic and irritating. I know director Edgar Wright
can do much better (Shaun of The Dead and Hot Fuzz,
for example), but this just failed to hold my interest. I
dunno, maybe I'm too old. This movie was obviously
made with dorky teenagers in mind.
Not surprisingly, it bombed at the box office.
Rating: * out of 5 stars.
More like Scott Pilgrim vs The Audience.
The Limits of Control (2009)
Focus Features
Starring Isaach De Bankolé, Bill Murray
This is a gorgeous-looking film, that often seems to forget
that the audience expects to be told a story. Isaach de
Bankole plays what I presumed to be some kind of hitman,
who spends a lot of time waiting to be handed instructions
on his next job by a series of strange...well, strangers. The
Limits of Control seems to take place almost exclusively
in various parts of Spain. The scenery is incredibly beautiful,
and the cinematography makes it come alive flawlessly.
But the film is ultimately too dull, too drawn out and too
mysterious to really hold an audience's interest. Don't get
too excited about Bill Murray, though. He's only in about
5 minutes near the end. Paz de la Huerta does full-frontal
nudity here (not that that's an infrequent occurence for her),
so it's not a total loss.
There, you don't have to see it now.
Rating: * * out of 5 stars.
Piranha 3-D (2010)
The Weinstein Company
Starring Jerry O'Connell, Elisabeth Shue
This is supposed to be a remake of the original 1978
camp classic, except that there's almost certainly a lot
more graphic gore, tits & ass and shitty jokes in this
updated version. I don't gross out easily, but this movie
was gory as hell, especially in 3D. I found myself not
finding the gore either funny or scary, just disgusting. The
tits were okay...but I think an actual story could've been
told here as well, alongside all of that. Almost all the
characters were bland and basically unlikeable. Richard
Dreyfus makes a completely pointless cameo near the
beginning. However, a later--albeit too brief-- appearance
by the always great Christopher Lloyd almost turned the movie
around for me. The plot? Oh...some guy who makes Girls
Gone Wild-type videos (O'Connell) comes to a beach town to
film, some tennager and his love interest tag along with him, then
piranhas attack. Not much else to it. And tits.
Rating: * out of 5 stars.
Place this tag in your head or just before your close body tag -->
Sunday, April 24, 2011
The 12 Worst Sex Tips From Women's Magazines
It seems like every other women's magazine cover at the
supermarket checkout line advertises articles giving women
tips on how to spice things up in the bedroom (errr, they still
publish those, right? Magazines, I mean). Here's some
of the worst pieces of advice:
1. During orgasm, repeatedly yell "CUBS WIN!"
at the top of your lungs.
2. Eat a couple of jalapeños before giving oral.
3. Try guessing each other's STDs during foreplay.
4. Tea Party-themed roleplaying.
5. Whisper into his ear about how much you love
cats.
6. Playing Wesley Willis songs in the background.
7. Use sexy words like "commitment" and "emotions."
8. Forceful karate chops.
9. Pretend you like it when he comes on your hair.
10. Insert penis in vagina. Thrust.
11. Chocolate dipped morning-after pills.
12. Drive your man crazy by serving bacon halfway
thru sex.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Worst Tattoos Ever
Everybody and their uncle has goddamn tattoos these days. Myself
included, as I have several. Yes, I can be a band-wagon-jumping
retard too. I'm not made of wood.
Anyway, the excellent Failblog brings us a constantly-updated,
reader-submitted collection of the worst tattoos you're likely to see
(outside of, maybe, the crowd at a Molly Hatchet show).
Here's a few of my recent favorites:
Brutal is right! Someone's been in prison.
So that's where it goes when I pull out! 'Preciate it, ho.
Anyone heard the old Misfits song, "20 Eyes"?
Turns out it's about cats.
Aaaand, the best/worst tattoo ever...
Yes, Marilyn Monroe fucking crucified.
More here: http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org/
included, as I have several. Yes, I can be a band-wagon-jumping
retard too. I'm not made of wood.
Anyway, the excellent Failblog brings us a constantly-updated,
reader-submitted collection of the worst tattoos you're likely to see
(outside of, maybe, the crowd at a Molly Hatchet show).
Here's a few of my recent favorites:
Brutal is right! Someone's been in prison.
So that's where it goes when I pull out! 'Preciate it, ho.
Anyone heard the old Misfits song, "20 Eyes"?
Turns out it's about cats.
Aaaand, the best/worst tattoo ever...
Yes, Marilyn Monroe fucking crucified.
More here: http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org/
Saturday, April 9, 2011
8 Worst Ballpark Promotions
With the major league baseball season now underway, many
ballparks across this formerly great nation often hold special "theme"
days and events to entice fans into sitting through 3 or so hours
of the most boring sport on Earth. Here's some of the worst ones:
1. "Free Four Loko" Day
2. "The Situation" Sings the National Anthem
3. "Bring a Mental Patient to the Game" Day
4. Pretty much any Mets game
5. "Get Your Picture Taken With Barry Bonds" Day
6. Win a private workout with Jose Canseco
7. Free anabolic steroid clinics
8. RATT concert before the game
Go Rangers
ballparks across this formerly great nation often hold special "theme"
days and events to entice fans into sitting through 3 or so hours
of the most boring sport on Earth. Here's some of the worst ones:
1. "Free Four Loko" Day
2. "The Situation" Sings the National Anthem
3. "Bring a Mental Patient to the Game" Day
4. Pretty much any Mets game
5. "Get Your Picture Taken With Barry Bonds" Day
6. Win a private workout with Jose Canseco
7. Free anabolic steroid clinics
8. RATT concert before the game
Go Rangers
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
The 20 Worst Criminals in NFL History
Here's a little something to put you in the mood for the Super Bowl,
courtesy of Bleacher Report.
This is number 17 on the list:
More at the link below:
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/585002-the-20-worst-criminals-in-nfl-history
courtesy of Bleacher Report.
This is number 17 on the list:
More at the link below:
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/585002-the-20-worst-criminals-in-nfl-history
Friday, January 7, 2011
The 11 Worst New Year's Resolutions
1. Quit drinking water.
2. Be more proactive in my stalking.
3. Get the UN to do something about Gene Simmons.
4. Finally start that dream career in the slaughterhouse
industry.
5. No more crying after sex.
6. Marry the dog and cat to each other.
7. Get better quality meth.
8. Re-watch every episode of Ace of
Cakes.
9. Moving to New Jersey.
10. No smoking between 2:00 and 2:15 PM every day.
11. No more showering until I get out of prison.
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