Four of the Worst Wars of the 20th Century

What's the least funny thing in the world (besides Dane
Cook)? War, of course. And what would be one of the
least appropiate topics for a list on a humor blog? Well...
okay, here it is:


World War II

1939-1945
USA/UK/China/USSR/Others vs Germany/Italy/Japan

You may have possibly heard of this one. There was this guy
named Hitler and he...well, I'm sure you're familiar with the
background. World War II was the largest, most destructive
war in human history. It killed about 60 million people total,
20 million of which were soldiers. Many of the 40 million
civillians that died succumbed to diseases, malnutrition,
bombings, and some thing called "The Holocaust" (anyone?).

World War II saw combat all over Europe, Central Asia, the
Middle East, Africa, the Pacific and Asia. This is a war that
saw extensive use of air power both for military purposes and
to terrorize civilians (on both sides) and the first (and so far, last)
use of nuclear weapons. It also saw many innovations in the
fields of genocide, slave labor, population control (you know,
concentration camps) and just plain nauseating, horrifying,
cruel inhumanity in general. The USSR took the brunt of the
casualties, losing about 27 million people. So I guess if there's
one silver lining here is that the commies got fucked in the ass.

Ha ha, just kidding.


World War I

1914-1918
France/UK/Russia/USA vs
Germany/Ottoman Empire/Austro-Hungarian Empire

Before its sequel (see above), this war was known as The
Great War. Not because it was awesome, but because it was
the largest, most destructive war anyone had ever seen at
that point. While no one then or now is really sure why exactly
the war broke out or what it was being fought over, it did make
a permanent impact on the world, specifically on Europe, where
the map was drastically changed after the war's end. New nations
formed after the war, such as Czechoslovakia and Yugoslavia
(neither one exists any more, but they had a good run).

WWI and its aftermath saw events like the Russian Revolution,
the breakup of the Austro-Hungarian and Ottoman Empires, the
Armenian Genocide and the deadly Spanish Flu outbreak, which
killed millions seemingly as soon as the war ended (it is rumored
that the flu spread through paella). Eight million soldiers died
during World War I, and Germany lost a whopping 15% of its
able male population. So, yeah, the war wasn't all that Great.


Second Congo War
1998-2003
Dem. Rep. Congo/Zimbabwe/Angola/Namibia
vs Uganda/Rwanda/Burundi

I know what you're saying: "The Second What What??"

Since this war happened in Central Africa, the coverage it
received while it was going on wasn't proportionate to its
nauseating brutality and chilling death toll. The First Congo
War brought Laurent Kabila to power in the Democratic
Republic of Congo, with the aid of Rwanda, Uganda and
Angola. However, once Kabila was in power, he turned on
his allies, who in turn aided rebels in the east of the country.
With Kabila's regime in peril, Zimbabwe and a few other
nations came to his aid. Seven African nations ended up
being involved in the war, which lasted 5 years and directly
and indirectly killed around 4 million people. So far, it is the
deadliest war since World War II and the worst war Africa
has ever seen. The Second Congo War also saw scores of
horrifying atrocities, including the widespread use of rape
as a weapon,as well as massacres of pygmies (in what
could be called a "little holocaust"). If nothing else, this
war showed that while Africa may not always have money
for food or medicine, they always seem to have money for
guns and tanks.



Vietnam War

1959-1975
USA & Allies vs North Vietnam/VietCong

The French were fighting pro-independence rebels and
communists in their colony of Indochina, which included
Vietnam, since the late 1940's. In the 50's, the United States
became involved by sending aid to the French. Even after
the French were beaten and left (imagine that), the Americans
stuck around so they could prop up the newly formed anti-
communist state of South Vietnam and fight theNorth
Vietnam-based Vietcong. US involvement steadily grew,
until by the late 1960's the US had many tens of thousands
of troops in Indochina.

It's often said that since the US couldn't keep Vietnam from
being taken over by the communists, that America"lost"
the war. Around 3 million Vietnamese died (from both sides),
the country's infrastructure was destroyed, chemicals and
land mines were left all over the country and Vietnam remained
an isolated, impoverished state for decades. But somehow WE
"lost". The Vietnam War's atrocities and inhumanity, from
both sides, are so well known that they're hardly worth going
into here.

...

Man, writing this list was a bad idea :( Now I'm all bummed out.