Thursday, June 21, 2012

Miami: Worst City In America

If you've read my article "5 More of The Worst Cities In The US",
you know that I hate the State of Florida with every cell in my
body. You also know that I think of Miami as some sort of post-
apocalyptic, empty-headed, Cuba-obsessed, no English-speaking,
crime and drug-ridden, shitty school-having, traffic choked,
annoying, rude-ass hellhole. Psychologically speaking, I don't
consider this dump to even be part of the United States
anymore. How bad does a city have to be to make you root for
Fidel Castro?
























Well, I am far from alone in my thinking on this issue, as
evidenced by the multitude of anti-Miami opinions on the
internet. I recently stumbled across a page selling a "Miami
Sucks" t-shirt, and it has a  user comments section. What
a gold mine of  Miami-ragging! I've pasted below some of
my favorite comments:


HateMiami:

You're led to believe that Miami is some sort of
tropical paradise,full of beautiful beaches, great
nightlife, great women and that Miami is simply
bubbling with culture. Sure, it has palm trees
and the nightlife is great, if you're prepared
to shell out well over $200 to go to one of the
clubs on South Beach. Miami is no paradise though -
in fact, it's about as far from being a "paradise"
as you can get. You'd think that with the tropical
climate, people would have beautiful and lush
gardens, but in reality, people here tear down
trees and plants and replace them with asphalt
and concrete. Miami is no paradise - it has
become a third world banana republic that broke
away from the United States a long time ago.

 maiya:

I am a high school English teacher in Miami. I
must say, I totally agree with hatemiami. I have
been living in Miami for seven years, and never
in my life have i met such rude, uneducated,
ignorant people. I am desperate to get out. I
plan on doing so sometime next year, in fact.
I could probably write a book on how disgusting
MOST of Miamians are...however, I would
probably kill myself in the process. My
students are flat-out lazy, whiny idiots...
who have learned their uncouth behaviors
from their lazy, whiny, idiot parents.
  
Born and Raised says:

For the most part I agree. Miami has been
hurt as much as it has been helped by the
drug trade. In the 80's when the feds
stopped the drugs from flowing in like
they were, Miami went into a serious economic
downturn. A main good point about this
city is also a huge bad point...
Cultural Diversity. Everyone here is
ethno-centric and hating on the next man.
it creates this "crabs in a barrel"
thought process. There are view people
here who take on the idenity of this
region. Everyone is from someplace else.
The question "Where are you from?" here
has a completely different meaning. I
have lived in Miami and in Fort Lauderdale
and I would say to the the Northern
person looking to move down south to
move to Fort Lauderdale. it has the good
things about MIami with less of the bad.
Oh... and when you Newyorkers
come here to live STOP TALKING ABOUT
NEW YORK!! I could give a s***!!
   
Lanie says:

 I lived here for a few years and the experience
left me completely freaked out. It is so
interesting to come here and read so many
others saying exactly the same things I was
thinking. I don't think there is another city in
the world that inspires such disgust. I have
lived in many cities in the U.S. and outside as
well, and this place is corrupt to its core.
Like so many others, I too, was surrounded by
people trying to rip me off or crap all over
me at every turn. I would say almost every
single encounter, "friendship", business deal,
whatever, involved something ugly..Wait, no,
a small handful of people were decent. What is
really weird is that there is something in the
air--even other recent arrivals like me, who
seemed perfectly normal, make mean Miami
zombies overnight.

TWAT ALERT says:

"MIAMI IS THE BEST" - of course you're Cuban.
If you hadn't bothered to add that little
piece of information, we'd have guessed
anyway. You probably wouldn't know culture
if it came up and bit you on the --- I bet
your musical taste involves plugging your
one remaining brain cell into Y100 or Power
96.5, or maybe you're one of those dumb refs
who still plug into the reggaeton stations.
You probably drive a Honda Civic, living with
your parents in either Hialeah, West Kendall
or Westchester.

Anyway ref, I feel sorry for you, for
having never experienced real life, outside
of Miami where the GROWN UPS live. You'll
still be a dumbass when you're 60 years
old, beating your wife and yelling about
Castro. You and people like you are the
losers. Miami is the end result of decades
of undocumented immigration, i.e. letting
uneducated monkeys such as yourself in.


       And the presumably satirical comment that sums it all up:

      
The Situation says:

     
Miamidoesnotsuck you right man but seriously I think
you been watchin my show too much. i know u want
to be like me Mike The Situation Sorenntino but
first u got to lick my balls at the gym, eat my
butt while we tan, stroke my penis on our/my boat.
U have to be bisexual to club in Miami son. Girls
love dat. BTWY how come all the girls in the club
are broke and live at home with their parents.
Good thing we got our pad/efficiency.



 LOL MIAMI  ;-P

Lots more hatred and arguments here: http://strihs.com/miamiflsucks



  


Friday, June 8, 2012

The 16 Worst New Cable & Satellite TV Channels






















1. Hitlervision

2. BBC Antarctica

3. Fat Guys In Leotards TV

4. AllHolocaust

5. Tea Party After Dark

6. The German Scat Porn Network

7. MTV 7 (this one will play music, for real now!)

8. C-SPAM

9. The Pawn Stars Channel

10. Telemundork

11. Fox News 2

12. The Mets Channel

13. Chancre News Network

14. The Background Noise During Sex Network

15. The Weather (In Albania) Channel

16. The Oprah Winfrey Network