The other day I was on Twitter, and one of the trending topics
was something along the lines of "failed pick-up lines". There
were a few memorable ones that I decided to collect and critique.
Not that I'm a pick-up artist or anything (far from it, believe me),
but I think I can recognize a pick-up line that will NOT get you
laid pretty easily. Let's get started (poster's Tweeter name
in bold):
@christopher832: i lost my number can i have yours?
LAME! How's a girl supposed to respond to this. It's
essentially a yes or no question. Fifty-fifty. And you're
going to need better odds than that.
@_chinatown: "I want you to be my 4th babymama..."
Ha! This one would probably work just fine in the 'hood. LOL
ninaszdaish: all those curves and me with no brakes
Hmmm. Not cringe-inducing, but not good. And what if she's
not curvy? She's just going to think you're full of shit.
Teamshanedawson: Did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
Yeah, nothing attracts the ladies/guys like fart jokes. From strangers.
thiick: "do i know you from somewhere?"
One of the oldest pick-up lines and one of the least exciting.
If you're gonna use this, you might as well walk up to the person
and say "Hi, I want to talk to you".
JineshNP: Do you work out? Sex is best way to burn calories.
Ahaha! Whoa, why not just walk up to her and say "Hey, wanna
fuck?" Sure, that may work for a few people in some rare instances
(intoxication of some sort is usually involved). But it just reeks of
douchebaggery.
@jaipal93: Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can
make your Bedrock..LOL
LMAO! This one is so crazy, it just might work.
Krazy88er: does this towel smell like chloroform to you?
Well, shit! Someone stole my pick-up line.
There you have it folks. If anyone out there gets laid using
ANY of these, please let me know (editor@worstofeverything.com).
And no, using one of these lines and then pouring date rape
drugs into someone's drink does not count.
You can follow Bill on Twitter here: http://twitter.com/thequestion77
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
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