The Five Worst Fast Food Restaurants

As an American man in my late 30s, fast food is, unfortunately,
an important part of my diet, although that's something I'm working
on changing. Due to this, I have over the years become tragically
familiar with a wide variety of outlets serving quick, greasy,
potentially lethal stomach-trash. Here's my least favorite ones,
in no particular order.







1. McDonald's

What pisses me off the most about McDonald's is that whenever
I'm in a part of town where there is NOWHERE else to eat, there
is always a goddamn McDonald's (or a Jack In the Box, if you live
in North Texas). So when I eat there, it's always out of sheer
necessity. Their food is incredibly bland, even for fast food. I
admit the fries are great, but virtually everything else looks
and tastes like cardboard, or like those plastic toy foodstuffs
you used to play with as a kid. On top of this, their restaurants
almost always seem to have this penetrating stench of old, overused
cooking oil, which permeates the food itself...as well as the take-
out bag, napkins and anything else that spent more than two minu-
tes inside a McDonald's.


2. Taco Bell

"Nacho cheese" so bright and unnatural-looking that it could've
come out of a nuclear reactor core. So-called beef that has the
consistency of Alpo. Refried beans that look like something that
came out of a cholera patient's ass. That, friends, is a brief yet
chillingly accurate description of some of Taco Bell's ingredients.
Do I even need to go into the feces festival that you'll suddenly
experience at 3AM after dinner at The Bell? To add insult to injury,
they now serve some atrocities that are humorously referred to as
"breakfast". No. Just no.


3. White Castle

Before I get lynched by a mob of enraged stoners (I know, tough
to imagine), let me say White Castle is absurdly overrated for what
it is. Okay, they make little square, soggy burgers full of disgusting
onions. THEY'RE JUST NOT THAT GOOD. I'm actually not sure if
they even make anything else. Not that it matters, as a White Castle
restaurants are few and far between, which is probably a good thing.
Unless you just did about 15 bong hits and don't feel like going to
Jack In The Box.


4. Popeye's

I'll admit, I LOVE Popeye's fried chicken. Yes, it is dangerously
greasy, and really the kind of thing I only have 2 or 3 times a
year. Which is a good thing (mostly for my heart) because
Popeye's hires some of the stupidest people on Earth, EVEN
BY FAST FOOD INDUSTRY STANDARDS. Seriously...I've
eaten at Popeye's in a few different cities and states, and the
common thread that runs through all of them is the appalling
slowness and imbecility of the employees. It is not uncommon
to order at the drive thru, then wait 10 minutes for your food,
just to get your order all f***ed up. If it wasn't for the almost
pornographic deliciousness of their chicken, I would NEVER
eat there.


5. Subway

Where to begin with Subway? Until recently, their sandwiches were
really just too expensive for what they were. They've gotten better
on that front with the whole "5 dollar foot long" thing (and the
intensely annoying marketing campaign that came along with it.
That damn jingle gave me PTSD). But let's face it: they are still
just SANDWICHES, often made by clumsy teenagers and recently
released ex-convicts. And I don't care what 'Jared' says, Subway subs
are NOT health food. If you really want a sandwich that bad, do this:
get  off your ass, walk to the kitchen and make one. Takes five
minutes,if that. And if you want to lose weight, I can think of at
least a couple of dozen ways off the top of my head that are cheaper
and easier.

The 10 Worst Colleges In America

There are plenty of lists of which universities are the worst for return
on investment, or for partying, or crime. But what about a list of the
worst American colleges overall? The list linked below weighs things
like ROI, crime, cost, quality of life, location and how much of a
pain professors are. Enjoy:


The 10 Worst Colleges In The U.S.




.

The Worst Colleges (For Getting Your Money's Worth)



Good fucking luck!

















College takes a long time, it's difficult, and at least in America,
it's fucking expensive. The average level of student loan debt for
an American student is over $23,000, and about a third of students
don't even stay enrolled past their first year. When choosing a
school, it would serve you well to research how good of a return
on investment you're likely to get for your (or your parent's)
money, so that you can feel a little better when you hopefully
graduate and receive your potentially useless college degree.

Tuition.IO has come up with a handy list of the worst colleges
as far as ROI. They also have a list of the best ones, but this
blog is not concerned with the "best" of anything, so fucking
find it yourself. We have featured a couple of "worst college"
lists on this blog before, and I'm mildly surprised to not see
any of the schools from those lists on this one, unless I've
missed something. The schools on this list are spread all
over the USA. You have Concord in West Virginia (#10),
Jackson State in Mississippi (#8), and Medaille College
in New York (#3), for example.

For the rest of the list, click HERE.




http://www.tuition.io/blog/2013/03/worst-10-colleges-for-roi-how-does-your-school-rank/

The Worst Reality TV Shows

Ahhh, reality television. How else do the dozens (or hundreds?) of
broadcast, cable, dish and satellite channels now in existence fill their
countless hours of airtime? They can either air movies or reruns of old
sitcoms, or they can spend what seems like a few dollars and cheaply
produce hours of shows featuring people yelling/doing stupid things/
being mentally ill. And why not? Your average reality show episode
has probably already paid for itself after its first commercial break.
Unfortunately, the networks' inclination for filling time with cheap,
fake, painfully-scripted "reality" is that TV is now littered with more
shit shows than anyone can possibly keep track of. And quite
frankly, it's becoming increasingly difficult for connoiseurs of crap
such as myself  to differentiate which ones are "the worst". I asked
the internet what it thought about this urgent, important subject,
and here's what I found. Click below to see what may truly be
considered the worst of the worst, past and present...


About.com's list of the worst reality shows

The Week.Com's list

"10 Reality Shows That Make Me Question My Generation's Intelligence"

13 Worst Predictions For 2013

What does unlucky '13 have in store for us, since 2012 unfortunately
failed to bring about the end of humanity? Here are some things that
we might see over the course of this new year:

1. President Obama comes out as a brony.

2. More movie trilogies of reboots of remakes of characters from
    other media.

3. Real Housewives: The Musical

4. School shooters who only kill other school shooters.

5. Florida is finally kicked out of the United States.

6. Donald Trump kills himself after 5 minutes pass without someone
    paying attention to him.

7. Forget tattoos and piercings: the next hot thing will be neck
    elongation.

8. Equality of opportunity for all citizens (just kidding!).

9. Osama Bid Laden still alive; is actually Joaquin Phoenix.

10. iCrap, the world's first toilet/tablet, sells out in 30 minutes.

11. More movies about the precious, quirky adventures of upper
     middle class white people with interesting, easy jobs.

12. At least one NFL player -- or 83 -- will get arrested for something.

13. Ultra-conservative gays form the Teabagger Party.

The 11 Worst Public Universities In America

Last summer, I posted a link to a list of the fifty worst colleges in 
America. However, just in case you were curious as to what the
worst public colleges in America are, The Fiscal Times brings us
a list of the 11 crappiest public universities in the country. You'll see
a couple that you may recognize from the "50 worst list", such as
Southern University at New Orleans and the University of the
District of Columbia, as well as lesser-known wastes of time and
money like Ohio University Southern Campus and Cameron
University. The best school on this list is Coppin State University
in Baltimore, with an unimpressive graduation rate of 16.3%. So
you know the rest of these shitholes won't rate very well at all.
For the full list of state schools not to waste your Pell Grant money
on, click HERE.

Jill Stein for President of the United States

My endorsement for the 2012 Presidential Election: Jill Stein of
the Green Party. She is pro-environment, women's and gay rights,
working people, drug legalization, and anti-war.

Instead of wasting a vote on one of two major party candidates
who don't care about real people's problems, and never will, vote
for someone real. Or at least help the Greens get enough votes to
secure a spot on the ballot next time around, and help build a
stronger and more diverse democracy in America.

If Jill's too left wing for you, may I suggest taking a look at former
New MexicoGovernor Gary Johnson of the Libertarian Party?
Either way, VOTE (just not for Romney or Obama)! Thank you!

More information at www.jillstein.org. 

The 11 Worst Musical Artists of the Aughts

Music website Pajiba brings us this list of the 11 worst musical
acts of the decade spanning 2000 to 2009. It is chillingly accurate,
and includes most of the jabronies you would expect to see on
such a list: Black Eyed...uuugghhh, sorry, started getting nauseous
there...Black Eyed Peas, Katy Perry, the douchebags from the
FreeCreditReport.com commercials...well, dammit, just go and
read it. I need to go throw up like it's New Year's Day:

http://www.pajiba.com/music/11-worst-music-artists-of-the-aughts.php

Worst Movie Scene Reenactment Ever

Thank you to my friend and groomsman Tom P. in San Francico,
for once again bringing to my attention something hilarious/
disturbing he found online.

This time around, we have a reenactment of a scene from
Predator, featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Carl
Weathers.

I know, a true classic. So, how can this possibly be made
better? By having two 13-year olds cheaply reenact it...
in blackface.

Actually, this seems to be just one kid putting together
this award-winning performance, not two, which adds to
the deliciousness. Also, for some reason, I am reminded of
what Al Jolson would've looked  like if he could've turned into
the Hulk.

YOU SON OF A BITCH.

Worst New TV Shows For The 2012 Fall Season

The new television season --whatever that means anymore--
 is nearly upon us. Here are some of the new offerings from
broadcast and cable networks:


1. Mad Men...In The 80's! (AMC)

2. Real Housewives of Mogadishu (Bravo)

3. Girls, With PMS (HBO)

4. Mob Chef (FOX)

5. Parental Figure Makes And/Or Sells Drugs (Showtime)

6. Game of Thrones: On Ice! (HBO)

7. Redneck Country Drivin' an' Fishin' an' Redneckin' (History)

8. Toddlers & Tiaras: CPS Edition (TLC)

9. Nerds Are Funny (CBS)

10. This is on Logo? I Didn't Know This Show Was For Gays! (LOGO)

Worst New Blog

I, like most bloggers, love starting blogs and then abandoning them.
Except for this one, which I do update, I just do it like every 20
years. Here's my  latest blog destined to be completely forgotten
in about 3 weeks: Weird Transmissions. It deals mostly with
shortwave radio (a big hobby of mine), but will touch on radio in
general. Visit it at: http://weirdtransmissions.blogspot.com/

Thanks!

Worst Songs Ever

As a bitterly arrogant music snob, to me, 99% of all popular
songs ever recorded would qualify for a "Worst Songs Ever"
list. So I won't even try to make a personal list of songs I
consider the worst. For one thing, it would be osbolete
every few weeks (or days). Instead, I direct  you to a few
lists of the worst songs ever released. These are certainly not
very current, so you probably won't see as much Katy Perry,
Gotye, Nickelback, Kelly Clarkson or LMFAO as you might
expect. Yeah, I said Gotye, fuck you.


First, we have Wikipedia's list. Too short, but very instructive:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_music_considered_the_worst


Then, there's AOL Radio's list. The blurbs could've been better,
but this is AOL we're talking about:

http://www.aolradioblog.com/2010/09/11/worst-songs/


And finally, a pretty decent list some dude posted on HubPages:

http://dj-funktual.hubpages.com/hub/100-Worst-Songs-of-All-Time


And remember, commercial radio: repetition is the best way to ruin
a song, even a good one.

Miami: Worst City In America

If you've read my article "5 More of The Worst Cities In The US",
you know that I hate the State of Florida with every cell in my
body. You also know that I think of Miami as some sort of post-
apocalyptic, empty-headed, Cuba-obsessed, no English-speaking,
crime and drug-ridden, shitty school-having, traffic choked,
annoying, rude-ass hellhole. Psychologically speaking, I don't
consider this dump to even be part of the United States
anymore. How bad does a city have to be to make you root for
Fidel Castro?

Well, I am far from alone in my thinking on this issue, as
evidenced by the multitude of anti-Miami opinions on the
internet. I recently stumbled across a page selling a "Miami
Sucks" t-shirt, and it has a  user comments section. What
a gold mine of  Miami-ragging! I've pasted below some of
my favorite comments:


HateMiami:

You're led to believe that Miami is some sort of
tropical paradise,full of beautiful beaches, great
nightlife, great women and that Miami is simply
bubbling with culture. Sure, it has palm trees
and the nightlife is great, if you're prepared
to shell out well over $200 to go to one of the
clubs on South Beach. Miami is no paradise though -
in fact, it's about as far from being a "paradise"
as you can get. You'd think that with the tropical
climate, people would have beautiful and lush
gardens, but in reality, people here tear down
trees and plants and replace them with asphalt
and concrete. Miami is no paradise - it has
become a third world banana republic that broke
away from the United States a long time ago.

 maiya:

I am a high school English teacher in Miami. I
must say, I totally agree with hatemiami. I have
been living in Miami for seven years, and never
in my life have i met such rude, uneducated,
ignorant people. I am desperate to get out. I
plan on doing so sometime next year, in fact.
I could probably write a book on how disgusting
MOST of Miamians are...however, I would
probably kill myself in the process. My
students are flat-out lazy, whiny idiots...
who have learned their uncouth behaviors
from their lazy, whiny, idiot parents.

  
Born and Raised says:

For the most part I agree. Miami has been
hurt as much as it has been helped by the
drug trade. In the 80's when the feds
stopped the drugs from flowing in like
they were, Miami went into a serious economic
downturn. A main good point about this
city is also a huge bad point...
Cultural Diversity. Everyone here is
ethno-centric and hating on the next man.
it creates this "crabs in a barrel"
thought process. There are view people
here who take on the idenity of this
region. Everyone is from someplace else.
The question "Where are you from?" here
has a completely different meaning. I
have lived in Miami and in Fort Lauderdale
and I would say to the the Northern
person looking to move down south to
move to Fort Lauderdale. it has the good
things about MIami with less of the bad.
Oh... and when you Newyorkers
come here to live STOP TALKING ABOUT
NEW YORK!! I could give a s***!!

   
Lanie says:

 I lived here for a few years and the experience
left me completely freaked out. It is so
interesting to come here and read so many
others saying exactly the same things I was
thinking. I don't think there is another city in
the world that inspires such disgust. I have
lived in many cities in the U.S. and outside as
well, and this place is corrupt to its core.
Like so many others, I too, was surrounded by
people trying to rip me off or crap all over
me at every turn. I would say almost every
single encounter, "friendship", business deal,
whatever, involved something ugly..Wait, no,
a small handful of people were decent. What is
really weird is that there is something in the
air--even other recent arrivals like me, who
seemed perfectly normal, make mean Miami
zombies overnight.

TWAT ALERT says:

"MIAMI IS THE BEST" - of course you're Cuban.
If you hadn't bothered to add that little
piece of information, we'd have guessed
anyway. You probably wouldn't know culture
if it came up and bit you on the --- I bet
your musical taste involves plugging your
one remaining brain cell into Y100 or Power
96.5, or maybe you're one of those dumb refs
who still plug into the reggaeton stations.
You probably drive a Honda Civic, living with
your parents in either Hialeah, West Kendall
or Westchester.

Anyway ref, I feel sorry for you, for
having never experienced real life, outside
of Miami where the GROWN UPS live. You'll
still be a dumbass when you're 60 years
old, beating your wife and yelling about
Castro. You and people like you are the
losers. Miami is the end result of decades
of undocumented immigration, i.e. letting
uneducated monkeys such as yourself in.

       And the presumably satirical comment that sums it all up:

      
The Situation says:

     

Miamidoesnotsuck you right man but seriously I think
you been watchin my show too much. i know u want
to be like me Mike The Situation Sorenntino but
first u got to lick my balls at the gym, eat my
butt while we tan, stroke my penis on our/my boat.
U have to be bisexual to club in Miami son. Girls
love dat. BTWY how come all the girls in the club
are broke and live at home with their parents.
Good thing we got our pad/efficiency.

 LOL MIAMI  ;-P

Lots more hatred and arguments here: http://strihs.com/miamiflsucks



  

The 16 Worst New Cable & Satellite TV Channels

1. Hitlervision

2. BBC Antarctica

3. Fat Guys In Leotards TV

4. AllHolocaust

5. Tea Party After Dark

6. The German Scat Porn Network

7. MTV 7 (this one will play music, for real now!)

8. C-SPAM

9. The Pawn Stars Channel

10. Telemundork

11. Fox News 2

12. The Mets Channel

13. Chancre News Network

14. The Background Noise During Sex Network

15. The Weather (In Albania) Channel

16. The Oprah Winfrey Network

The 50 Worst Politicians in America

Yes, I know a list of the worst politicians could theoretically
be as large and pointless as a list of the most alive living
organisms, or the worst tasting kinds of poop. But the folks at
TruTv's website have done a mighty decent job of compiling a
list of some the worst jerkoffs to hold office in the United
States, past and present (but mostly present and recent past).
'Ave a look, guvnor:

http://www.trutv.com/conspiracy/government/worst-politicians/gallery.html?curPhoto=21

Worst Hiatus Ever

I have reached the point that virtually every personal blog reaches sooner rather than later: Having no more time to update it and/or no desire to do so. I've also got a very busy next few months between trying to change jobs and going back to school, so I'll be going on an indefinite hiatus. Enjoy
the archives. See you when I see you!

Worst Colleges in America

America has almost as many colleges as it has lawyers and
autistic kids. It's often hard to sort through the extremely numerous
higher education options out there in order to pick the one that will
get you a degree that will actually get you a job (not a good job,
this is 2011...ANY job will do). The excellent Washington
Monthly  has done its part to help out the educationally
discriminating by compiling a list of the "50 Worst Colleges in
America". Here's numbers 6 to 10:


6. Baker College of Auburn Hills (MI)
 7. University of the District of Columbia
8. East-West University (IL)
9. Haskell Indian Nations University (KS)
10. Crichton College (TN)
 
More here.

Navigation note

I have recently let the domain name "worstofeverything.com" expire,
as it was just not bringing enough traffic in. I get plenty of views,
they just come directly mostly from Google/Bing searches. Please
use worstofeverything.blogspot.com to reach us from here on in.
But I guess if you're reading this, you probably already know that.

Anyway, new posts coming soon or something.

More Movie Reviews

Here's some more movies I've seen recently, either on
DVD or at the theater. Some I liked, some I didn't.
First up...


Blue Valentine (2010)
The Weinstein Company
Starring Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling

I'm really not a fan of sad movies (if I want to be sad,
there's always everyday life to provide that), but there
are a few that I really like, and this is one of them. In
this small-budget film, Gosling and Williams (who earned
an Academy Award nomination for Best Actress here)
play a mismatched couple who marry too young, and maybe
without having gotten to know each other well enough.
Blue Valentine alternates between flashbacks of their
fun, quirky courtship and the grim and joyless present,
in which Williams works as a nurse (and is obviously
the main breadwinner) and Gosling paints houses, and
drinks a lot. A fascinating look into the slow collapse
of a marriage, replete with all the regret of looking back
and not being able to turn back the clock. This movie
wasn't perfect, though. It felt like it was missing something
toward the end. I've heard Blue Valentine was pretty
heavily edited before release--most likely due to the
graphic nudity and sex--but it almost feels like that wasn't
all that was cut out. Regardless, excellent performances
make this one of the best dramas of the year.

Rating: * * * * out of 5 stars.




Scott Pilgrim vs The World (2010)
Universal Studios
Starring Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth
Winstead

It would only be fair to mention that I was only able
to sit through this hot mess of a movie for little
over an hour before I decided to quit while I was
ahead. Scott Pilgrim vs The World is supposedly
based on a comic book series, which I have not
read. The protagonist is Michael Cera, playing the
same goddamn character he always plays: soft-
voiced, timid, feminized wall-flower. Scott Pilgrim
is the unlikely bassist for some some shitty rock
band. He then falls in love with some pink-haired
chick, Ramona Flowers (Winstead) but then has
to tangle with Ramona's "seven evil exes", a collection
of weirdos who appear to have superpowers. So
does Pilgrim, it appears, as his battles against the
exes have him fighting like a video game/comic
book character (with "sound effects" appearing
on the screen as words, video game references and
sound effects galore, fancy aerial moves, etc.).
Whatever alternate reality the characters inhabit
seems incredibly retarded, ugly and awkward.
Maybe it's just because the film is set in Canada.
The characters were all ridiculous and the storytelling
was manic and irritating. I know director Edgar Wright
can do much better (Shaun of The Dead and Hot Fuzz,
for example), but this just failed to hold my interest. I
dunno, maybe I'm too old. This movie was obviously
made with dorky teenagers in mind.
Not surprisingly, it bombed at the box office.

Rating: * out of 5 stars.

More like Scott Pilgrim vs The Audience.



The Limits of Control (2009)
Focus Features
Starring Isaach De Bankolé, Bill Murray

This is a gorgeous-looking film, that often seems to forget
that the audience expects to be told a story. Isaach de
Bankole plays what I presumed to be some kind of hitman,
who spends a lot of time waiting to be handed instructions
on his next job by a series of strange...well, strangers. The
Limits of Control seems to take place almost exclusively
in various parts of Spain. The scenery is incredibly beautiful,
and the cinematography makes it come alive flawlessly.
But the film is ultimately too dull, too drawn out and too
mysterious to really hold an audience's interest. Don't get
too excited about Bill Murray, though. He's only in about
5 minutes near the end. Paz de la Huerta does full-frontal
nudity here (not that that's an infrequent occurence for her),
so it's not a total loss.

There, you don't have to see it now.



Rating: * * out of 5 stars.


 Piranha 3-D (2010)
The Weinstein Company
Starring Jerry O'Connell, Elisabeth Shue
 
This is supposed to be a remake of the original 1978
camp classic, except that there's almost certainly a lot
more graphic gore, tits & ass and shitty jokes in this
updated version. I don't gross out easily, but this movie
was gory as hell, especially in 3D. I found myself not
finding the gore either funny or scary, just disgusting. The
tits were okay...but I think an actual story could've been
told here as well, alongside all of that. Almost all the
characters were bland and basically unlikeable. Richard
Dreyfus makes a completely pointless cameo near the
beginning. However, a later--albeit too brief-- appearance
by the always great Christopher Lloyd almost turned the movie
around for me. The plot? Oh...some guy who makes Girls
Gone Wild-type videos (O'Connell) comes to a beach town to
film, some tennager and his love interest tag along with him, then
piranhas attack. Not much else to it. And tits.
 
Rating: * out of 5 stars.
 

Place this tag in your head or just before your close body tag -->

The 12 Worst Sex Tips From Women's Magazines

It seems like every other women's magazine cover at the
supermarket checkout line advertises articles giving women
tips on how to spice things up in the bedroom (errr, they still
publish those, right? Magazines, I mean). Here's some
of the worst pieces of advice:

1. During orgasm, repeatedly yell "CUBS WIN!"
    at the top of your lungs.

2. Eat a couple of jalapeños before giving oral.

3. Try guessing each other's STDs during foreplay.

4. Tea Party-themed roleplaying.

5. Whisper into his ear about how much you love
    cats.

6. Playing Wesley Willis songs in the background.

7. Use sexy words like "commitment" and "emotions."

8. Forceful karate chops.

9. Pretend you like it when he comes on your hair.

10. Insert penis in vagina. Thrust.

11. Chocolate dipped morning-after pills.

12. Drive your man crazy by serving bacon halfway
      thru sex.