The 12 Worst Sex Tips From Women's Magazines

It seems like every other women's magazine cover at the
supermarket checkout line advertises articles giving women
tips on how to spice things up in the bedroom (errr, they still
publish those, right? Magazines, I mean). Here's some
of the worst pieces of advice:

1. During orgasm, repeatedly yell "CUBS WIN!"
    at the top of your lungs.

2. Eat a couple of jalapeños before giving oral.

3. Try guessing each other's STDs during foreplay.

4. Tea Party-themed roleplaying.

5. Whisper into his ear about how much you love
    cats.

6. Playing Wesley Willis songs in the background.

7. Use sexy words like "commitment" and "emotions."

8. Forceful karate chops.

9. Pretend you like it when he comes on your hair.

10. Insert penis in vagina. Thrust.

11. Chocolate dipped morning-after pills.

12. Drive your man crazy by serving bacon halfway
      thru sex.

Worst Tattoos Ever

Everybody and their uncle has goddamn tattoos these days. Myself
included, as I have several. Yes, I can be a band-wagon-jumping
retard too. I'm not made of wood.

Anyway, the excellent Failblog brings us a constantly-updated,
reader-submitted collection of the worst tattoos you're likely to see
(outside of, maybe, the crowd at a Molly Hatchet show).

Here's a few of my recent favorites:

Brutal is right! Someone's been in prison.

 















So that's where it goes when I pull out! 'Preciate it, ho.




Anyone heard the old Misfits song, "20 Eyes"?
Turns out it's about cats.



Aaaand, the best/worst tattoo ever...




Yes, Marilyn Monroe fucking crucified.



More here: http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org/

8 Worst Ballpark Promotions

With the major league baseball season now underway, many
ballparks across this formerly great nation often hold special "theme"
days and events to entice fans into sitting through 3 or so hours
of the most boring sport on Earth. Here's some of the worst ones:

1. "Free Four Loko" Day

2. "The Situation" Sings the National Anthem

3. "Bring a Mental Patient to the Game" Day

4. Pretty much any Mets game

5. "Get Your Picture Taken With Barry Bonds" Day

6. Win a private workout with Jose Canseco

7. Free anabolic steroid clinics

8. RATT concert before the game



Go Rangers

The 20 Worst Criminals in NFL History

Here's a little something to put you in the mood for the Super Bowl,
courtesy of Bleacher Report.

This is number 17 on the list:

Cecil Collins is currently serving a 15-year burglary sentence. He
broke into the home of a married woman he knew from the gym.
Collins admitted that he broke in to watch the woman sleep.

More at the link below:

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/585002-the-20-worst-criminals-in-nfl-history

The 11 Worst New Year's Resolutions

1. Quit drinking water.

2. Be more proactive in my stalking.

3. Get the UN to do something about Gene Simmons.

4. Finally start that dream career in the slaughterhouse
industry.

5. No more crying after sex.

6. Marry the dog and cat to each other.

7. Get better quality meth.

8. Re-watch every episode of Ace of
Cakes.

9. Moving to New Jersey.

10. No smoking between 2:00 and 2:15 PM every day.

11. No more showering until I get out of prison.

Worst Business Decisions of 2010

When you have an organization whose sole mission is to make a
profit, stupid and counterproductive decisions are bound to be
made. And 2010 was filled with them: crappy products, insane
ideas, insensitive public statements, lame marketing campaigns...
the usual horseshit that's produced by our consumption-obsessed
society, year after year. Take a look at some of the dumbest business
decisions of the past year, courtesy of CNN:


http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2010/news/companies/1012/gallery.business_dumbest_moments_2010.fortune/index.html

The Worst Movies of 2010

I actually didn't see a lot of bad movies in 2010--but that's mainly
because I've become more discerning over what movies to see and
which ones to miss. So I normally avoid the flicks that look like they're
going to be awful. But that doesn't mean there weren't plenty of
horrible movies stinking up theaters this year. Here's the worst
15 of the year, courtesy of The Onion's AV Club:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/the-15-worst-films-of-2010,49052/



Grown Ups: You should've known it was going to suck.

Worst Adult Education Classes

1. Introduction to Stalking

2. Crystal Meth Manufacturing I

3. How to Sell Amway and Have All Your
Friends Hate You

4. Teabagging for Beginners

5. Racism for Non-Whites

6. Advanced Flower-Picking

7. Intermediate Cooking for the Blind II

8. Ass Piercing For Fun and Profit

9. How to Destroy Evidence

10. Ballroom Dancing (with badgers)

11. Meditation For Schizophrenics

Worst New Reality Shows

The new fall TV season has started. Here's some of
the great new reality shows debuting now:

1. Sister Wife Daughter Cousins

2. Septic Tankers

3. Delaware Shore

4. Kate Plus 8 Black Guys

5. Survivor: Monaco

6. So You Think You Can Rape

7. America's Got A Staph Infection

8. Scream-A-Lympics

9. 28 & Pregnant

10. Meet America's Fat Idiots
(10 episodes per day, every
day; 20 seasons planned)

11. The Real World: Baghdad

12. Big Grandpa

13. A Homeless Guy, a Rabid Ferret
and a Video Camera, Locked In a
Burger King Restroom

14. Man vs Directions To The Airport

15. Anthony Bourdain Eats Weird Shit

16. Pawning Vital Organs

Worst Album Covers Ever

Hey, remember music albums? Or CD's, for that matter? Rate
yourmusic.com brings you the worst (or best, depending on
how you look at it) album covers ever:

http://rateyourmusic.com/list/djlanda/the_100_worst_album_covers_ever